Let’s face it: We all love a good road trip, right? There’s something about the open road and the freedom to see how far you can get that’s downright romantic and enticing, but it all has a dark side: You’re going to put on some weight.

Firstly, and let’s be honest about this, motorcycling on public roads isn’t an energetic sport. The principle activity you’re engaged in is sitting still for a few hours at a stretch. Granted, you’ll have to gas up every few hours. Maybe you get off when you do and have a walk around but “pay at the pump” has removed that as a necessity, unless you want some gum or cigarettes or other over priced goods from the store.

If you are so inclined, you could push your riding a little harder. Sport bike riders tend to fall into this category and there is some effort involved as you move from hanging off one side to the other and the heavy braking can also add a little work out to your arms. But when I’ve been to the gym, I tend to know which I’ve worked they are sore. When most folks get off a sportsbike, the only stiffness they have is in their ass and maybe some forearm pump. Mr Universe you will not become at this rate. I should also mention, you’re only going to get that minimal workout if you really know the roads and don’t mind taking your chances with slower drivers and the increasing policing of our roads… Oh, and that’s if your roads have nice curves to play on which most round here don’t. Better get to the track then.

However, it’s not specifically the lack of exercise I find to be the problem with the road trip but the food. On my recent trip, the day went something like this: Wake up in a B&B and partake of a breakfast that consisted of at least three eggs and half a cooked pig. After waddling to the bike, it was three or four hours of riding before stopping at some nice looking road-side diner. At least, that’s the plan but more often than not it’s a nasty looking road-side diner where they deep fry everything including the salad and coffee. Waddle back to the bike, do another three or four hours before checking into the next B&B and seeing what the local restaurants in town are. Arriving at the nicest looking we’d feel tired but having covered at least 500km there’d also be a sense of accomplishment and what better way to acknowledge that than with a beer? Or two? Perhaps a whiskey to follow? And sure, dessert looks good. Waddle back to the B&B to sleep before repeating the next day. I will confess, we had lots of fruit along the way and at least managed to avoid the gas station pitfalls of candy and potato chips but that really only adds to the total rather than replaces it.

It didn’t matter where we went. No matter how up or down-market the town was, the choices tend to be high calorie, high fat and therein lies the problem. You cannot get a decent meal on the road. Actually, when I said that, I lied. All the meals were decent, what I meant was you cannot get healthy. I guess the issue is you tend to get hot on a bike, that and mentally tired. When I get that way, I tend to crave something salty and being one who loves food, there’s no way I can bring myself to order the vegetarian option, which everyone knows is the healthiest thing on a menu, when there’s a decent 8oz steak in the offing. It’s even harder to resist if it’s slathered in a béarnaise sauce.

So what are your options? I guess we could have hit the local subway but that gets boring and even the tuna mayo isn’t that healthy. I guess we could have camped and cooked our own food, but that would have taken space we didn’t have and added to the logistical headache – “We’re here. Now, I just have to go shopping for dinner…”. No, the only way out is self restraint unless you’ve got a better idea?

Of course, dirt riders are exempt from this criticism. I can honestly say it’s one of the toughest things I’ve done, riding around the local forests and trails on a KTM, but that might also be because I have pick the bike up every so often. That and there’s no restaurants out in the wilds. But then, when was the last time you did 4100km on a dirt bike, even on fire trails? I guess if I really wanted to stay reasonably fit on a road trip, I’d do it on a bicycle.

Tags: 4 Comments