Whales, Trails and Blarney Tales, Newfoundland #HD100

By Paul Fenn Contributing Editor

Whales, Trails and Blarney Tales: Newfoundland motorcycle roads

Once upon a time I arrived in St John’s to start a nine-week project. I was put to work straightaway, but come Sunday, with nothing to do, I got me a rental car and a roadmap. Shamefully ignorant of the place, I cracked open the map, saw I was only 160km from Newfoundland’s most southerly town, St. Shott’s. As one who loves extremes and places well-named, how could I not go? It was mid-winter. Can’t quite say why, but Nfld bit me right there, and she never let go.

Newfoundlanders have inherited their forebears’ love of language, laughter and song (22% are of Irish stock). Formed against a backdrop of extreme hardship, neglect and violence disguised as weather, Newfoundlanders have endured, triumphed and emerged as among the most interesting collection of personalities anywhere on this planet. They will crack you up while drinking you right under the table and into the basement.

We are lucky they’ve chosen to stay with us (it almost didn’t happen back in ’49 – ask a local. I vowed to return the Rock on a bike. Now, 17 years later, I still haven’t. So I’m sending you.

You will see things

Newfoundland’s beauty is an anti-beauty, borne by its vast arrays of next to nothing, the barrens, the great harshness. Glaciers and winds long ago scraped all but a few soil molecules off the bedrock into the sea. Yet somehow on the Rock, life clings by its eye teeth.

Giant green swells, born in the ferocious storms of the soulless North Atlantic, unspool into jagged promontories and 100ft tall crags, exploding in great fists of white that reach high into troubled skies. Time-sculpted evergreens hold fast, not budging in the wind. Unusual creatures proliferate – puffin, caribou, moose, feline and canine, along with a warm and charming people who disarm all cynics and whose accents can change with a stroll across a couple lanes of blacktop.

This is a day-long Rock buffet. You get incredible coastlines, fishing villages, mossy carpets in a million colours, clear rivers, breaking waves, wrecks, fish ‘n chips shops and lots of twisty, fun terrain. You’ll want to stop a lot and take it in, because there’s nowhere else quite like it.

Where to stop

On your way south, pull into Bay Bulls for food and whale / iceberg watching tours (early summer generally). Further south, Witless Bay is worth a stop for a goofy photo opp under the sign. At the bottom, in St Shott’s, don’t you dare forget to take a detour on the winding dirt road running west from town over the bridge up to the cliff. Wown below in the black rock, lies a massive old crankshaft from a big old wrecked ship. It will send a chill through you.

Cape Spear lighthouse is a good spot for a pic and a look at the angry Atlantic. In St. Shott's Once you get back up toward St John’s up Hwy 90, take a food break the Station Diner in Holyrood, or for more options, head up Hwy 60 to Conception Bay South.

And also know that Newfoundland is home to a town called Dildo, and another called South Dildo. If you feel the urge, it may well be worth it to slip one, or both, into your agenda. Getting your photo taken at the Dildo sign is the Newfoundland equivalent of holding up the Leaning Tower of Pisa, but infinitely more satisfying. Note that Dildo is a few minutes off the official Irish Loop.

Photos by Paul Fenn and advjoe.ca

Ride this route in the #HD100 Challenge to win the Street Glide Special with 100 Year Anniversary paint kit and 500 secondary prizes. Download the EatSleepRIDE Motorcycle GPS app for iOS and Android to play. CRASHLIGHT is available in-app.