Bikes vs Football Clubs

Given the ridiculously warm weather in London at the moment and the fact that it's very nearly the weekend, it's time for a bit of sunny Friday whimsy. Obviously, I love bikes and, despite being a Fulham supporter, I love football too - so let's do a bit of a match up and see how a selection compare.....

Manchester City - MV (Meccanica Verghera). Donkey's years old, with the glory years well behind them and largely ignored by the wider biking and football fraternities ever since, both MV and "Citeh" have new money behind them these days and both are now splashing out on new models.

Sadly, Carlos Tevez will never be as good looking as the new MV Agusta F4 1000 or even the new Brutale, although both bikes are likely to be as high maintenence as the treacherous Argie.

However, with MV sales up over 50% since 2010 and Citeh now challenging the old order in the Premier£hip, a bright future beckons for both it seems.

BMW - Chelsea (spit). Repulsive, ugly, workmanlike and generally unloved by the masses - and BMW bikes aren't particularly great either! As with Spartak Chavscum, the offerings from the Teutonic manufacturer are very much an acquired taste, with the GS range boasting some of the ugliest bikes known to man - though bizarrely, and for reasons I certainly can't fathom, both actually have strong and loyal followings. And, it has to be conceded, both have a smattering of flair. As players I loved watching Gianfranco Zola and the likes of Peter Osgood and Alan Hudson from days gone by, equally, I have always liked the look of the K1300S and the S1000RR is one of the best sportsbikes around - yet both Chelski and BMW are often characterised by reliability problems. Overall, I wouldn't touch either with a 10-foot barge pole....

Arsenal - Yamaha. A great history and tradition and packed full of stunning performers. For Thierry Henry read R1 (fast, exciting, direct), for Bergkamp read Fazer (classic, cultured and great power delivery), for Charlie George read FS1E (quirky, unpredictable and electrifying in its day) and yet nowadays both club and manufacturer seem a bit directionless....as if they are drifting along whilst letting others overtake them. Both are strong enough to return to former glories but the longer the current malaise goes on, the further away this seems. I have soft spots for both....

Tottenham - Ducati. Strong, glossy brands with colourful histories and plenty of money behind them - and both are playing some attractive stuff these days. However, ultimately both are followed (ridden) by people with more money than sense - as the overdrafts and more than occasional breakdowns will amply attest. I mean, over £14k for a Streetfighter S?! Compare that with Spurs selling Freeeaaak Crouch for £10m and someone somewhere is definitely having a giggle (and making a lot of folding). Nevertheless, the likes of Van der Vaart and the 1198 Testastretta are stunning performers and you can never quite take your eyes off them - definitely a bit of a guilty pleasure....

Harley Davidson - QPR. Followed by oddballs. 'Nuff said!

Fulham - Triumph. Ha! Full of history and tradition, with both club and manufacturer mirroring their respective glory days of the 50s and 60s. For Haynes read Bonneville, for Jezzard read Thunderbird.

And both have been making strong recoveries in the last decade following the depression and malaise of the 70s-90s. Unfortunately, that's probably where the similarities end. Whereas Fulham have had the odd success (Europa League final in 2010), Triumph has surged forwards in recent years and are now leading the sales lists in the UK across much of their range. Triumph Motorcycles is very definitely a British manufacturing success story. Fulham is....well, Fulham. We love them both.

Gentlemen (& ladies), let's have a few of your comparisons......